My name is Tori. I’ve lived in Stillwater since the 2nd grade. Back in high school I used to say, “I can’t wait to get out of this town”, now I say, “I love this town and I hope I get to serve it someday as a midwife.” I got married in my parents home in Janurary of 2005. I currently co-lead Birth Connections of Stillwater, helping families find the resources and information they need to make informed choices about childbirth and beyond.
My interest in birth began shortly after my first prenatal visit with my family doctor. I was 12 weeks along with my sweet little surprise, and being a bit of a control freak, decided I would like a natural birth because being numb and immobile (with an epidural) was not going to work for me. He smiled and listened to my plans and agreed to go along with whatever I had decided. Then as we had the doorknob moment (as he was leaving) his eyes glanced up and down my small frame and he commented that “we might want to induce, so that head doesn’t get too big for you”. This started my flame. I never set foot in that office again and after reading the book “Gentle Birth Choices; A guide to making informed decisions” by Barbara Harper, I decided to hire a midwife to be with me when I birthed my baby. I traveled one hour for every visit to the nurse midwives at the OU Medical Center in Oklahoma City. Then again when I was in labor, then once more when I was in active labor. I birthed my son in May 2006 after many long hours of hard work with the dedicated help of my husband, mother, nurses and midwife. Edward was 7 pounds 12 ounces, born on his due date, without induction or medication. My midwife sat at my level and truly listened to what I wanted my birth to be and then protected those choices and communicated them to the hospital staff. She gave me information and asked what I decided. She addressed my emotional well being and later helped me through postpartum depression. What the family doctor back in Stillwater had done so innocently (I really hope), was plant a seed in my mind that I was unable to birth my baby without his expert help, which validates him and his extensive training. I dug up that seed and didn’t allow it to germinate. Too often I’ve seen that mindset flourishing in mothers and it affects their birth experience, breastfeeding experience and overall experience as a mother, which means it affects them forever. There is no questioning the work doctors do to save women in life threatening situations is invaluable. I do question their overuse of induction and cesarean and have observed that in being too quick to use these extreme interventions , there is much harm done. Now the question is how do we find the middle?
When my son Edward was one year old, a friend Amy and I began Birth Connectons, which was back then called “Women Trusting Birth”. For a year we met in a small room at the library and started to dip out toes into the natural birth community that is lurking in Stillwater. The group evolved over time and the group started offering a different class/discussion every month.
Our first topic being Babywearing, as taught by Piper Nard, a birth doula from Oklahoma City. Piper has been teaching mothers how to wear their babies for many years in Oklahoma City and it brought Amy and I such satisfaction to bring that invaluable resource to Stillwater mothers, however getting the word out was going to take a long time and the work is never done.
Since then the classes/discussions that have happened have included
babysign
expecting couples class
natural birth the in the hospital
herbs for the family presentation
baby massage class
miscarriage support
sharing birth stories
cloth diaper presentation
eco-friendly period options
mayan uterine massage for links, resources and handouts from some of these past meetings CLICK HERE!
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